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Before yesterdayInside Danielle's mind

It’s that time again…

17 November 2021 at 18:36

It’s that time again…

The most wonderful time of the year…

-says Andy Williams

\

So why does everything feel so…


Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β  BLAH???

not the holiday mood whatsoever…

and I LOVE the holiday mood, the music, the baking, just the mood of everything.Β  The little acts of kindness that you may not see at any other time of year.

….Maybe because I am too busy to do anything, but I do everything that includes procrastinating and resembling anything productive??

MAYBE that’s it,

  • …maybe because we just had to put my dog and best buddy to sleep…  I mean, I spent ALL my time with him, part of our family for 12Β½ years!Β  It’s been seven years that he’s been my everything (since I quit my job to be a stay at home doggie mom), my main focus point, the reason for me to rush home from everything I was doing to go check in with him.Β  I quit my job at the nursing home, (b/c of the stress) and to top my list of reasons that I shouldn’t get a new job, was always Chazzy’s getting older…
  • …maybe it’s because I’ve just encountered a huge life change, the lifestyle change of being once again in the working world, a very small job [4 hours at a time max- so I thought Chazz would approve of my still being somewhat productive while caring for him]Β  So I am working at the library near my home, a very nice job with lots of friendly people I can see IN PERSON [and not just through a screen on my computer]
  • …maybe it’s been COVID, and this way of living.Β  My friend and I were discussing how the prettiest tree in our neighborhood didn’t really shine in its glory of the years past, and maybe it’s because there’s been the cloud of COVID hanging over us.Β  Or maybe it’s just been a lack of rain.Β  COVID has turned everything upside downΒ  and has really isolated us all.Β Β 
  • …maybe its because the brain injury ZOOM support group that Brain Injury Services created suddenly stopped meeting over the summer; and all the other support groups stopped meeting.
  • …maybe because the weather keeps fluxuating between hot and cold proving the Global Warming/Climate Change issue a more pressing reality than previously thought…

AND THEN MAYBE ITS JUST THE EXCESS OF YARN I HAVE LAYING AROUND BEGGING TO BE USED!Β 
(That’s a positive spin, and I’m sticking with it!)

…And then my mom (the voice of reason)

tells me to be grateful for what I do already

have…

WHICH I GUESS IS A LOT MORE THAN

MISSING WHAT I DON’T HAVE…

Rest In Peace…    Chazz Karst
A good dog, not always, but sometimes- I miss you everyday

daniellekarst920

Love/Hate relationship with SLEEP

8 October 2019 at 18:46

Some people call it anxiety. Some people call it the inability to let go of the past. I call it NOT FUN.

Not relaxing. Not being whisked off to a blissful state of mind. Not enjoying that re-energizing couple of hours before waking and ready to tackle the day.

Since my car accident happened with the result being a brain injury, I haven’t been dreaming too much, At first when I was in the hospital, it was like a couple hours of nothingness, I’d wake up with energy- just not super excited energy. And a few years ago I started wearing a Fitbit- which tracks your sleep cycles- and the part that calculates the REM (OR DREAM) cycle of sleep reported me very low
[like 3% of my time asleep is spent in dreams while the average person is dreaming for 20% if the time]
on an average of other women my age…
MEANING I DON’T DREAM MUCH AT ALL- even now 22 years later

I have a hard time staying asleep and stopping my mind from going down the

what happens down that rabbit hole? I think I just get into the land of

WOULDA…
COULDA…
SHOULDA…

IF ONLY…

Past regrets…

What if? This isn’t the way it should be-

..This is nothing new, it is what I have been struggling with for most my life, and so I can just leave it all in God’s hands, not fret about what I cannot change, do what I can and know that God is always there to guide me to know the difference

..And then since its OCTOBER


and suppossed to be SPOOKY


I’ve been watching shows on the TRAVEL CHANNEL about Spooky Haunted Towns, and Ghost Adventures, and have been trying to get myself into the correct headspace for the season

Ghost Nation
Learn more about paranormal investigators and ghost-hunting pioneers Jason Hawes, Steve Gonsalves and Dave Tango from Travel Channel’s β€˜Ghost Nation’.

YAY-SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS! save the date…definitely excited for the debut of the new show GHOST NATION with the trio of Ghost Hunters that got me addicted into this paranormal fun-ness…

…watching spooky tv programs
keeps me away from thinking of
20YR HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS
and then all the mistakes that I’ve made in my past- and so then the spooky tv programs haunt me and I have to stay up longerβ€”

BUT I LOVE IT!!!

daniellekarst920

Calm down and breathe

22 September 2019 at 09:10

One thing that I need to learn is to but one foot in front of the other. Take a second, breathe and break down tasks into smaller more manageable ones. Maybe in my super planner I can write down my accomplishments so i can keep track of the bigger picture. I have had a difficult past few days- getting very overwhelmed with everything.

OVERWELMED. With what? Well, my computer β€˜misplaced’ a bunch of educational documents and my work feom college. (I did listen to my brother and back the files up on a harddrive so it must be there- I think its just hiding from me)

daniellekarst920

Worry = nothing

21 April 2019 at 12:51

β€œDo not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34-5

Even Jesus makes a point to live in the present moment, or mindfulness. We can only control what we do in the right now, and don’t have the power to change the future- so why worry about it? Jesus couldn’t change all that God had predestined to happen and I believe that he was trying to show us that and the frivolous state of mind that we find ourselves going mad with worry and concern. Jesus knew that he could not keep himself from perishing om the cross, yet he didn’t worry about it, he just prayed and left it in God’s hands. I think most of us could benefit from this example- I know that I could.

Happy Easter everyone! Let’s remember that this holiday is more than just about chocolate bunnies!

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

daniellekarst920

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