So, I’ve heard you’ve missed me. Well I’ve missed you to. I know for sure now that sharing with you was super healthy for me. Ranting, raving, criticizing, praising, crying, laughing, shouting at the top of my lungs on paper. These are all of the things necessary for my growth and development.
Since we’ve been apart, I’ve moved into my very own 1 bedroom apartment, have a boyfriend for almost a year, had to call the police to remove him in September, my son turned 17 and has become distant, my daughter is now 12 and calls me every chance she gets and tells me EVERYTHING, just like my son used to, and I’m loving it. My son will be going away to college in the summer, he earned a full academic scholarship to an out of state college which is way closer to New York than here in California, insert sad face here. I’m struggling with mental and emotional frustration. I have feelings of loss and I’m angry that we weren’t ever able to regain any symbol of our lives together before he becomes an adult. He’ll be gone soon and sometimes I feel like I’ve failed him. There’s still hope for getting my daughter back under my roof again. I plan to propose this move I’m the summer.
I started teaching tap at a local dance studio to children soon after moving into my new home in a new community. I loved my job and I was so amazed and blessed with such wonderful, scary talented, young ones. I apparently got bit by a spider on the outside of my vagina and suffered unbelievable amounts of pain, fever, and dilutions, causing me to miss the end of semester performance rehearsals and the show itself. I was under the impression someone had updated my boss concerning my health problem (I almost died) but when I realized no-one hadn’t I was furious and embarrassed but I took a scary step and called to address the issue many many days after the events. I left a voicemail message explaining what happened, I never received a response and in turn, my fears and total humiliation took over, paralyzing me to the point of never returning to work and never making another attempt to call and reconcile. I am now in a slight funk/depression but I can honestly say that’s the only pressing problem I’m avoiding these days.
Well, there’s the newest issue where I’m dealing again with this treacherous “blood family” of mine. This time it isn’t about my children, it’s about my Mother. She went into the hospital on Thursday and I only found out on Saturday because the one cousin who I am still communicating with called to tell me. When I tell you the awful things that the Aunts and whomever else said/did when asked why I hadn’t been included in the discussion thread about my Mother, you’ll probably be as hurt as I am. The good news is that with the help of my “Wonder Twin” brother I was able to put my anger and pain to the side and address my Mother’s care with confidence and love. As a result of my maturity (at least I think this is why) I received a call today from a medical professional giving me an update on my Mother’s care. I am sitting on the toilet as I type into my phone a proud daughter.
And as for the last quick update, my brother and I have finally been able to be in the same place at the same time!!! He visited at the end of last year and came back again from December to mid-January. That’s a drama filled story that you don’t want to miss.
There’s so many other details to write about. This is the foundation of the new and improved blog from me, Warner Bailey.
I’ll be posting reviews on the new places I’m visiting, including, restaurants, malls, liqour stores, and random events. You’ll learn about my in-depth online shopping experiences and why I’m more cyber based than ever. HINT: Every heard of agoraphobia? Eeks!
I’ll be sharing my experience so far as an alcoholic who is drinking again but still LOVES AA and has in-home meetings, refers to the big book for guidance, and isn’t ashamed, hiding, or worried about living in a bush again.
I’m back with way more confidence, new perspectives, strange theories, and so much to complain about, laugh about, cry about, and hope about.
Just like the year, I’m here with clearer vision. Life still sucks and still so beautiful.
I’m looking forward to engaging more with you and including you in THE WARNER BAILEY PROJECT soon to be a MOVEMENT.
Peas and blessings, double L squared, bad peace in the North East. I’m Audi 5,000!