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Norie Understands

27 August 2021 at 19:26
Norie is my twelve year old, black cat. As two old gals, we pretty much understand how to live together. I have always tried to learn and respect her likes and dislikes. I also never try to scare her or lie to her; so she trusts me. If I accidentally step on her tail or … More Norie Understands

joyful2bee

Black cat with beautiful coat of fur

Black cat in sunshine.

Friends ❀️

1 August 2021 at 09:30
Family unconnected by blood, and yet close-knit 
Real friends stay close to us 
In every sickness and health, they will be there 
Every joy and sorrow seems better with them 
No matter what life throws at us, 
Darkness or light, they don't care, 
So long as you go through it together! 

A true friend is precious and dependable, 
Rare, sincere and loyal to a fault 
Even one such friend is worth a million people! 
 
Always, you can count on them! 

True friendship never dies, 
Rather it grows stronger and powerful 
Even though miles may separate you 
All that distance is just physical 
Separation is something our hearts don't know! 
Ugly or pretty moments - friends will always stay. 
Remember, friends are a treasure that 
Everybody is not lucky enough to have. 

Did you find the not-so-hidden message? Friends are a treasure worth having. Life would be extremely dull without them. I dedicate this poem to all my friends across the globe. Thank you for making my life a lot better! This is also my first acrostic poem!

Since today is Friendship day, I decided to repost this poem about friends. Happy Friendship day to you, my virtual friends.

This poem is my entry for Thursday Poetry competition. The topic was for Friendship. Click on the link to know more about this challenge. Thank you, Phoenix for running this challenge. πŸ™‚

Click here to read all my other poems. πŸ™‚

Don’t hesitate to like, share and subscribe. πŸ™‚

Follow me on Twitter | Instagram

Β© 2020 Shweta Suresh. All rights reserved.

images-2-1

imasoulsearcher

Friends ❀️

1 August 2021 at 09:30
Family unconnected by blood, and yet close-knit 
Real friends stay close to us 
In every sickness and health, they will be there 
Every joy and sorrow seems better with them 
No matter what life throws at us, 
Darkness or light, they don't care, 
So long as you go through it together! 

A true friend is precious and dependable, 
Rare, sincere and loyal to a fault 
Even one such friend is worth a million people! 
 
Always, you can count on them! 

True friendship never dies, 
Rather it grows stronger and powerful 
Even though miles may separate you 
All that distance is just physical 
Separation is something our hearts don't know! 
Ugly or pretty moments - friends will always stay. 
Remember, friends are a treasure that 
Everybody is not lucky enough to have. 

Did you find the not-so-hidden message? Friends are a treasure worth having. Life would be extremely dull without them. I dedicate this poem to all my friends across the globe. Thank you for making my life a lot better! This is also my first acrostic poem!

Since today is Friendship day, I decided to repost this poem about friends. Happy Friendship day to you, my virtual friends.

This poem was my entry for the Thursday Poetry competition once upon a time! The topic was for Friendship. Click on the link to know more about this challenge. Thank you, Phoenix for running this challenge. πŸ™‚

This post is a part of theΒ β€˜Blogchatter Half Marathon’ campaign.

Click here to read all my other poems. πŸ™‚

Don’t hesitate to like, share and subscribe. πŸ™‚

Follow me on Twitter | Instagram

Β© 2020 Shweta Suresh. All rights reserved.

Like a Rose

5 May 2020 at 13:02

Roses are red
Like the ones you gave me
When we first met.
Like the ones you used to give me
On all my birthdays.
Like the ones you gave me
When you proposed
Like the ones in the garlands
We exchanged on our wedding.
Red as ruby,
Bold and memorable
Like the marks
That cover my skin
When you took out
Your rage on me
Do your remember?
The rage that made you see red.
Red as roses,
But not so sweet.

I was blinded
By my love.
I never realised
That it had turned toxic.
You promised me roses
But you turned out
To be a thorn.
The one that kept hurting me
Again and again.
Over and over again.
As I searched in vain
For the roses
That didn’t seem to exist anymore

It took me a while
But I decided
To put an end
To my suffering
At last.
I deserved better
And you will never change.
Together,
We will only be a disaster.

That night,
I remembered that
Roses can be white too
Pure and innocent,
White as my face
As I finally
Break my shackles,
Cold, scared, and trembling
I sneak out
In the dead of the night
Leaving behind
You and our life together
Nothing but painful memories.
Yearning for healing,
And a chance at new beginnings.

Author’s Note:

The poem is a work of fiction. While I’m glad that it’s not my story, unfortunately it may be a reality for many. My heart breaks at the thought of all the souls who might have suffered due to this lockdown. Unable to get away, confined for days and weeks together, suffering in silence. πŸ’”

Domestic abuse is a silent killer. While others might see a blissful life, many may be unaware of what happens behind closed doors. I across a prompt about red roses and decided to write about a darker side of love.

I’m currently laid down with a horrible migraine. Please accept my apologies for not responding to your comments. I’ll get around to that when I’m feeling better.

Image courtesy: Manfred RichterΒ fromΒ PixabayΒ 

Don’t hesitate to like, share and subscribe. πŸ™‚

Follow me on Twitter | Instagram

Β© 2020 Shweta Suresh. All rights reserved.

Love Interrupted

18 July 2020 at 07:45
The hall was decorated well 
Lit with strings of fairy lights, 
Lined with rose petals, 
Hearts and candles galore, 
Leading up to a small table 
Covered with a white lace cloth 
A ring of fragrant roses, 
And a bottle of perfume 
Claimed the centre of the table 
Roses were her favourite 
And so was the "Flowerbomb" perfume 
Which was strategically placed 
To hide a tiny velvet jewel case 
That held a sparkling surprise 
For his beloved. 
Today was the day 
When he was going to ask her 
To be a permanent part of his life 
He hoped it would be a "yes", 
And meticulously planned the day 
Down to the last detail. 
But, alas! 
Fate had other plans in store for him. 
Work played spoilsport, 
And held him, hostage 
Far longer than he had expected. 
With a heavy heart, 
He made a rather difficult call 
To call off his meeting 
With the Queen of his Heart. 
His plans shattered into pieces, 
His mood turned darker 
As the night took over from day 
Tired and frustrated, 
He dragged himself 
Back to his empty apartment. 
The sight of the shriveled roses, 
Burnt-out candles 
Reminded him of how miserable, 
The most anticipated of days 
Had turned out to be! 
He hoped that tomorrow 
Would be a better day 
As he dropped into his bed 
Letting dreams take over 
His tired mind, body, and soul. 
The proposal would have to wait 
Until another day. 

This verse was written in response to the Photo Challenge #323 hosted at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie. The challenge is to use the photo prompt as an inspiration for a poem or short story. Thank you, NEKNEERAJ for hosting this challenge.

DISCLAIMER/Author’s Note:

This poem is dedicated to all the couples who struggle to strike a balance between their personal and professional life. Also, if you would like to point out to me that someone who had meticulously planned out such a day would definitely have taken a day off from work… allow me to remind you that this is just a work of fiction. And in the world of fiction, (almost) anything’s fair. πŸ˜‰ Besides, I haven’t found myself in such a situation, so I can always write this one β€œplot hole” off. Then again, my protagonist could be extremely workaholic too!

Click here to read all my other poems. πŸ™‚

Image courtesy: Kristina Paukshtite onΒ Pexels.com

Don’t hesitate to like, share and subscribe. πŸ™‚

Follow me on Twitter | Instagram

Β© 2020 Shweta Suresh. All rights reserved.

Together – The Connections We Crave When We Are Apart

25 February 2021 at 04:49
By: Jolene

When was the last time you felt lonely? Β 

What brings you joy? Β 

I would invite you to hold onto those thoughts for a moment. Β 

As the COVID-19 pandemic wreaked havoc on our lives and livelihoods in 2020, another pandemic – infinitely more insidious and damaging – ravaged our hearts. Often referred to as the silent pandemic, loneliness as a social virus is unfortunately much harder to identify and inoculate against.Β Β Β 

As I sit here in the sparsely decorated room that has become my home office for the past 11 months, I reflected on my own journey with loneliness and what it means to me. The result is a strong desire to share my reflections on a topic of vital importance. This may take the form of a long form essay, partly because the mere mention of loneliness continues to attract a certain stigma, and hence those that suffer from it are, by association, social misfits. The more fundamental reason is, because I could. If I am not the author of my own fate, at least I shall be the author of my own blog. Β 

1. What is loneliness? Β 

Literary definitions aside, loneliness is a highly subjective term and suggestive of a sliding scale of unmet needs and wants. β€œLoneliness” is loosely associated with objective terms such as β€œisolation”, however, where the latter describes a physical sense of aloneness, the former goes to the core of the quality of one’s connections. The adage of β€œyou can be lonely on your own, or lonely in a crowd” is testament to the heighted sense of disconnection that we feel in the frenzied world around us.Β Β Β 

On the face of it, what does a happily married, corporate professional leading a well-rounded life have to do with loneliness? In reality, I have struggled with various shades of loneliness throughout much of my childhood, and into my adult life. Low self-esteem, perpetrated by the poison of public taunts and my inherent inability at self-defence, has cast permanent dark shadows over the Great Emotional Walls I have erected. It wasn’t until Dr Vivek Murthy’s exposΓ© on the multiple dimensions of loneliness did I realise that what I have been experiencing had validity beyond just hurt pride (Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World). Β 

According to Dr Murthy, there are three dimensions of loneliness to reflect the particular types of relationships that are unfulfilled. Intimate or emotional loneliness is the longing for a close confidant or intimate partner, with whom you can be your true self. Relational or social loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship and support. Collective loneliness is the hunger for a network or a community that shares your sense of purpose and pursuit. All three dimensions represent the full range of high quality social connections that we require in order to thrive. Β 

Simply put, these are the three concentric relationship spheres that underpin our core spiritual wellbeing. Whilst a happy marriage and an outwardly successful career go a long way (and for that I am eternally grateful), loneliness comes with knowing that there are a very few who are genuinely interested in me and to whom I could turn. Unless, of course, it benefits them to know me. Β 

Outside my immediate family, I could count on one hand, for instance, those that know I have recently endured my first surgery. No one as yet knows the reason for it. It is not that I wish to hide, quite the contrary, I wish for more than anything to be able to have a heart-to-heart conversation on the fragility of humankind. However, the occasion – or more to the point, the person – just never materialised. Friends who are buried deep under their own mountains of work-life imbalance, or colleagues who are only too eager to pounce on your weaknesses, hardly identified as sympathetic candidates.

For the umpteenth time, I realised I was lonely. Β 

2. How is loneliness manifested?Β 

Loneliness manifests itself in different ways, sometimes it is fleeting, at other times it feels bottomless and all-consuming. It is commonly a root contributor to superficial diagnoses of addiction and violence, or anger and withdrawal. Β 

For me, the notion of loneliness is simple and can be easily self-diagnosed. It manifests itself as a visceral hookworm, winding its way into my system and shutting down my mental faculties as if flicking off a light switch. By the time it is done with me, I would succumb to utter mental depletion where only a sense of stupor prevails.

The saddest truism is that loneliness begets loneliness. The moment we lose our desire to connect and search for meaning is the moment we lose our ability to contribute to the broader conversations around us, from which meaning is then derived. To those who have everything, more will be given; from those who have nothing, everything will be taken. Loneliness is the ultimate vicious spiral.

3. Why does loneliness matter?Β 

As it relates to work, studies have found that the pursuit of purpose trumps the pursuit of passion, by a fair margin. In his seminal research Great at Work: How Top Performers Do Less, Work Better and Achieve More, Morten Hansen found that people who were passionate about their jobs, who expressed high levels of excitement about their work, were still poor performers if they lacked a sense of purpose. In empirical terms, those who were high passion but low purpose came in at the 20th percentile, compared with 64th percentile for peers who demonstrated high purpose but low levels of passion. The reason for this is self-fulfilling. As we can already appreciate, it is our desire for a common purpose that binds and elevates us from our mediocre selves. If work is a recipe, the ingredient of Passion is individualistic and best served as a show-stopping garnish, while the ingredient of Purpose is a universal staple.Β 

As it relates to life, the Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest studies on adult life. For over 80 years it has tracked the happiness index of hundreds of men and their progenies. The results are illuminating. Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. The power of good relationships doesn’t discriminate against gender, race or cultural and religious beliefs. It buffers us from trauma, grief, and even some of the slings and arrows of old age.Β 

So what brings us joy? The pursuit of connection and relational value is what brings us joy. Β 

4. How do we combat loneliness?

Recognising the symptoms of loneliness as they apply to you is an important first step.Β Self-awareness is almost always the prerequisite for action.

The conscious act of reaching out is a close second. As we start from our innermost circle and work outwards, spending quality, uninterrupted time with those that we love provides fertile ground for the fruits of belonging and connection to grow. The desire to connect with our loved ones should come to us naturally and the positive emotional ramifications of this exchange can be lasting. It bolsters our resilience account when we eventually need to be adventurous and venture further afield.

Foster and experience friendships; noting the emphasis on experience as a verb. Most of us have friendships that are Instagrammable at best, and dormant at worst. If a friend doesn’t readily come to mind, try to rekindle old friendships, as they are often easier than cultivating new ones. Take the time to focus and be genuinely interested in each other, and give the other person the gift of your undivided attention for the duration that you are together.

Rumble with vulnerability and take incremental steps to build intimacy and trust. Whilst it is jarring to put our emotions at risk, we stand to gain nothing if we risk nothing at all. The ability to take the first step in exposing ourselves to the judgement of others is critical in deepening genuine engagement and rapport. The rush of oxytocin when someone tells us that they love us back, or when a friend confides a momentous secret, is evidence of the rich rewards of vulnerability.

Purge yourself from relationships that simply do not reciprocate. A common misunderstanding of loneliness is to surround ourselves with low quality relationships or friendships and hope that any interaction at all would be enough to energise us. Unfortunately, the opposite often rings true and such interactions can be soul destroying. Rather than pouring good energy after bad, it is important to assess whether the relationship is worth salvaging. Be specific about what you need out of the relationship moving forward and express it clearly. Don’t be afraid to ask for return. Make small demands for change, but make sure that they are enough to satisfy you.

The discourse around loneliness will no doubt reverberate beyond the sanctuaries of our own minds. As a society, we have come to define ourselves as who we are to others. The currency of relational value will hopefully teach us to invest in genuine, long-lasting connections that recharge, reinvigorate and reward us through rough seas and calmer waters.

Recommended Reading

If you identify with any of the above, I would appreciate hearing from you. If you are intrigued to pursue further reading, the below would be my recommended place to start.

  • Vivek Murthy, 2020, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World.
  • Dan Heath & Chip Heath, 2017, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact.
  • Morten Hansen, 2018, Great at Work: How Top Performers Do Less, Work Better, and Achieve More.
  • Eugene O’Kelly, 2005, Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed by Life.
  • Jean-Dominique Bauby, 1997, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
  • Brene Brown, 2018, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
  • Robert Waldinger, 2015, TED Talk, What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness.

thumbnail_IMG_6318

somuchtotellu

Norie Understands

21 August 2021 at 08:00
Norie is my twelve year old, black cat. As two old gals, we pretty much understand how to live together. I have always tried to learn and respect her likes and dislikes. I also never try to scare her or lie to her; so she trusts me. If I accidentally step on her tail or … More Norie Understands

joyful2bee

Black cat with beautiful coat of fur

Black cat in sunshine.

Behind a screen

14 November 2020 at 12:03

Is it real what we have
As we talk behind a screen?
How could I begin to imagine
What you and I could be?

Glancing at my phone as I wake alone in my bed
My tired eyes see a text which blends in with the rest.
A non-committal message which simply reads β€˜Hi,’
From another clichΓ©d profile I matched with last night.

What’s the point in losing days on a chat that just ends
Or perhaps never starts
Or to get left on read?

Maybe they’ll never open my message at all.
Another face forgotten,
A name I never knew.

So I close down the apps to take some time for myself
Only a few days pass but why am I back?
Swiping through endless faces and meaningless words.
Clones of chat up lines and pictures
Voices that aren’t being heard.

I reminisce about forgotten drunken nights at the bar.
Times were better and flirtier,
Bad dancing,
Maybe more than a kiss.
Not a half-hearted message I don’t remember nor miss.

So I wonder while I sit at home, will I ever be seen
Or am I wasting my time meeting strangers behind a screen?

IMG_4695

meganrosee0

Behind a screen

14 November 2020 at 12:03

Is it real what we have
As we talk behind a screen?
How could I begin to imagine
What you and I could be?

Glancing at my phone as I wake alone in my bed
My tired eyes see a text which blends in with the rest.
A non-committal message which simply reads β€˜Hi,’
From another clichΓ©d profile I matched with last night.

What’s the point in losing days on a chat that just ends
Or perhaps never starts
Or to get left on read?

Maybe they’ll never open my message at all.
Another face forgotten,
A name I never knew.

So I close down the apps to take some time for myself
Only a few days pass but why am I back?
Swiping through endless faces and meaningless words.
Clones of chat up lines and pictures
Voices that aren’t being heard.

I reminisce about forgotten drunken nights at the bar.
Times were better and flirtier,
Bad dancing,
Maybe more than a kiss.
Not a half-hearted message I don’t remember nor miss.

So I wonder while I sit at home, will I ever be seen
Or am I wasting my time meeting strangers behind a screen?

#creative-writing, #culture, #dating, #dating-apps, #journalism, #lifestyle, #poetry, #relationships

A Foyer Where Squirrels Play

7 September 2020 at 10:07
Anilaadum Mundril – loosely translated as A Foyer Where Squirrels Play – is a wonderful trip down the memory lane. Especially, if you grew up in the state of Tamil Nadu. This is a wonderful book on relationships written by the late Tamil lyricist, Na. Muthukumar. I have always liked Na. Muthukumar for his poetic […]

Sadagopan

This Is Why I Fight

16 August 2020 at 06:55
By: Jolene

This post is a personal one. Whilst it is not always a painful one, it is certainly a post that I wrote and rewrote a number of times in fear of not giving it the due attention it deserved. It is also worth bearing in mind that I have only found the courage to publish this now – eleven years into my career – and at a time when the worst is perhaps behind me. The names are irrelevant (other than a few specifically alluded to); the ruthlessness of the industry prevails.

The urge to share my story came from the blog post β€œEconomics is a disgrace” by Claudia Sahm, a senior US female economist and former Section Chief at the Federal Reserve Board. I chanced upon her blog through Barry Ritholtz’s β€œMasters in Businessβ€œ, a popular business podcast recommended to me by my boss (and a great mentor). Claudia’s call-out of sexism, racism and elitism in American economist circles is not a lone tale and unfortunately mirrors what I have come to recognise amongst my own corporate circles in Australia. Diversity without inclusion is cruel. Diversity where the only yardstick is the degree of one’s hair loss is laughable.

There is systemic bias in how we bring talent through the system and how we nurture it in the workplace. Talent that looks and feels the part is β€œtalent”. And talent that doesn’t? Well, wouldn’t it be convenient if they don’t know how good they are, and what a formidable force they can be.

To this end, to understand my reasons for championing and fighting for change, one must first understand my journey. I am not your typical crusader. You would not notice me in a crowded room. I have no public profile, other than the small platform which I have established here and those that know me in person.

As a refugee’s daughter, my journey growing up was fraught with existential battles. Years of burning the midnight candle to learn English as a second language (not for fun, but for survival) have given me a decent foundation to layer with life’s thorny demands. Barely a year after picking up an English dictionary, I was thrust into the cutthroat battles for a spot in an academically gifted junior high school, where I earned a pitiful Reserve C. For the record, Reserve Cs are so far down the list of reserves that it would have taken a train-wreck of a school to dissuade the Reserve As and Bs from accepting their offers.

It turned out I was lucky. My parents were overjoyed. But being the last entrant to scrape through meant I was constantly climbing the proverbial uphill, pitted against smarter and tougher kids.

Working twice as hard to get half as far in life was a well-known sentiment to me, even back then.

None of this is to say that mine was a singular journey. The Australian migrant diaspora is littered with well-educated parents forced to hold down multiple menial jobs for the sake of their children. The expectation on those very same children to persevere against all odds makes for some interesting reciprocity.

My experiences growing up have taught me the value of tenacity and fighting for what you believe in. Now as a manager and mentor in the β€œpale male” dominated world of corporate finance, this is what I believe in.

1. The Shade Effect

First and foremost, I believe in making the journey easier for future generations and others like me. As the Chinese author Lu Xun famously quoted: β€œHope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist. It is just like roads across the earth. For actually the earth had no roads to begin with, but when many men pass one way, a road is made.” By virtue of power comes the responsibility to grant others the benefit of your shade as you take the heat.

2. The β€œBiggest Loser” Effect

At the time of my promotion a number of years ago, my former skip level manager thought it necessary to impart his disappointment in me. In campaigning for the promotion, I had overturned his view of my quiet persona. He made it abundantly clear that I ought to be smart enough to know that there is always a glass ceiling. I thanked him politely for the promotion, and inflicted a sizeable hole on the glass ceiling. To this day, I am grateful to others whom have shown me the way to triumph above such crises of confidence. The feeling of β€œif she can, then I can too” is hugely profound and a powerful personal motivator for me.

3. The Solidarity Effect

I wish to stand in solidarity with those who have felt varying degrees of shame, guilt, derision or rejection in a world where they often don’t belong. Because that is a world in which I now find myself. I have mentored others whose first words to me were β€œI don’t think I’m good enough for the role”. I might have made the exact proclamation at one point in my career. I now stand corrected and I couldn’t have done it without the support of others in my journey. I hear you, and rest assured that you don’t travel alone.

4. The Reciprocity Effect

Thoughtful leaders of today have the responsibility to make people better than they found them. And if you are fortunate enough to be led by one of those leaders, you have the responsibility not only to achieve your potential, but to acknowledge and reciprocate their kindness. It gives me deep joy to know that some have credited me with their success. By the same token, it is important for my supporters to know that their faith in me has made a world of difference and that it will always be remembered.

No doubt our industry is unkind to the misfits and quiet achievers. No doubt there is much to do to ingrain progress and inclusion in the psyches of those at the helm. We all have a role to play. Together, let us never give up the good fight.

Switzerland 5

somuchtotellu

Do You Know How Much I Appreciate You?

Well, it’s high time I tell you.

jennifer-afro-shawl-pic

I appreciate…

You for being a loyal reader of Sparky Jen.

I appreciate…

You for being a loyal follower of Sparky Jen.

I appreciate…

You for reading what I write, quirky snarks, ha ha’s and all.

I appreciate…

You for reading others when I reblog, throwing light on their awesomeness, or grab some super fantastic quotes, songs, and other cyberspace thought leader goodies.

I appreciate you…

For being open and honest, and sometimes, even

vulnerable with your comments.

I appreciate…

You for showing up here, so I know you’re out there.

I appreciate…

You for being part of our Super Duper

Community of Dynamic, Authentic Bloggers.

And finally…

I appreciate you for just being you!!!

thank-yu-lotus

Β 

Isn’t it a blessing to feel so welcomed and acknowledged?

Β 

thankyou-orange

sparkyjen

jennifer-afro-shawl-pic

thank-yu-lotus

Mein Lieber

28 June 2020 at 10:19

His love woke her

She found it difficult to breathe when he touched her

Her heart became full

Goosebumps filled her entire body

Passion took over

One look into his eyes

And they told her

That he was sincere

Before he could open his mouth

Before he could open his mouth

Hers locked with his

They pressed on his lips

With so much emotion….vulnerability

As if she would lose him

If she let go

The earth stopped rotating

She lived in his world

Her world became his

Intertwined into a galaxy

Of their feelings for each other.

florflor95

Mein Lieber

28 June 2020 at 10:19

His love woke her

She found it difficult to breathe when he touched her

Her heart became full

Goosebumps filled her entire body

Passion took over

One look into his eyes

And they told her

That he was sincere

Before he could open his mouth

Before he could open his mouth

Hers locked with his

They pressed on his lips

With so much emotion….vulnerability

As if she would lose him

If she let go

The earth stopped rotating

She lived in his world

Her world became his

Intertwined into a galaxy

Of their feelings for each other.

Chivalry. Poem

β€œTrue romance is not created by white knights with shiny armor, but, by those gallant men who yield to chivalry.” – Linda J Wolff his emotion is evolutionary.his masculine voice filters the sound of audibles,the illusion of a Greek warrior invested in the denting of his armorhis chiseled body-worn from exhaustion saying;we will find love, she’s not far now. each broken boy forlorn, an injured bird,one wing at each little taped bandage, now mending.He has welded them back into his soul as branchesof an old oak budding when spring comes yielding and open-leafedfrom the warming, a new sunrise of the …

The post Chivalry. Poem appeared first on Wolff Poetry Literary Magazine.

Chivalry. Poem

β€œTrue romance is not created by white knights with shiny armor, but, by those gallant men who yield to chivalry.” – Linda J Wolff his emotion is evolutionary.his masculine voice filters the sound of audibles,the illusion of a Greek warrior invested in the denting of his armorhis chiseled body-worn from exhaustion saying;we will find love, she’s not far now. each broken boy forlorn, an injured bird,one wing at each little taped bandage, now mending.He has welded them back into his soul as branchesof an old oak budding when spring comes yielding and open-leafedfrom the warming, a new sunrise of the …

The post Chivalry. Poem appeared first on Wolff Poetry Literary Magazine.

Yielding to the Sun. Poem

She’s a flexible branch without convictions to love. Adaptive to change. Yielding to the Sun Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Under gray skies,I long for you.I swear, I can see our words, our loveinscribed on a canvas.Painted of spring. I …

The post Yielding to the Sun. Poem appeared first on Wolff Poetry Literary Magazine.

Yielding to the Sun. Poem

She’s a flexible branch without convictions to love. Adaptive to change. Yielding to the Sun Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Under gray skies,I long for you.I swear, I can see our words, our loveinscribed on a canvas.Painted of spring. I …

The post Yielding to the Sun. Poem appeared first on Wolff Poetry Literary Magazine.

Lockdown loneliness and learning to self-love

30 April 2020 at 12:56

43 days. Just over 6 weeks. That’s how long I’ve been home, without physical contact with anyone other than my immediate family.

I looked at myself in the mirror the other day. Right in the eyes. As I watched my reflection stare back at me, apart from feeling somewhat narcissistic, I realised thatΒ was probably the most direct eye contact I’ve had for as long as I can remember.

It sounds quite sad. In fact, it is quite sad. I think none of us realised how reliant we were on other people, the physical touch from someone else and the feeling of protection we get from a prolonged cuddle, until it was taken from us. Let’s face it, tightly hugging a pillow at night while trying to fall asleep just doesn’t cut it.

In my time alone, I’ve found myself getting envious of other people who are staying with a significant other. I love my family and am incredibly thankful that I’m with other people rather than living by myself. It’s hard to ignore however my increased jealousy of people spending each day with someone they feel for romantically, as I discover these new emotions of mine in isolation.

As I sit in my bedroom, swiping lazily through Tinder, which I shamefully re-downloaded since being in lockdown, this temporary fix for loneliness is once again shattered when I realise the likelihood of any of these matches becoming β€˜real’ is minimal, given the current situation. I’m definitely not the only one in this boat. The majority of accounts I’m seeing have bios related to the pandemic. β€œIsolation got boring so I downloaded Tinder,” one account read. Another more lighthearted: β€œIf Covid-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?”

I’ve seen an immense rise in apps such as Tinder and Bumble, showing off their new video call dating options and advertising new β€˜dating from home’ alternatives for building relationships during the pandemic. If you click on the dating app Hinge, it’s reported that 70% of its surveyed users have expressed an interest in virtual dating.

IMG_6227I also read, unsurprisingly, that in lockdown there’s been an increase of new profiles on dating apps and websites. With all of these new users attempting to combat their loneliness with conversations behind a screen, it’s made me question: How much are dating apps really helping young adults’ mental health in this time?

Whether these people just want online companionship, whether they want to develop something more meaningful at the end of lockdown or perhaps just want somebody to sext with to satisfy their sexual desires that are left unattended to, it’s difficult to ignore that apps and websites will never replace the physical alternative. It’s undeniable that these apps only offer a short-term solution.

Despite my seemingly pessimistic view, I have to agree that although dating apps will never make your loneliness disappear, conversations with anyone makes this alone feeling far more manageable.

For myself, I think the most important thing is to come to terms with self-love. Sure, I’m continuing to call with my friends regularly, especially when one of us is struggling. I will keep having conversations with people I know well, or perhaps not so well, and make do with this new form of social interaction until everything returns to normal. But when any of us are feeling down and don’t want to do anything productive with our days, I think we should aim to love ourselves and find comfort in our own company.

Oh and here’s one last thing. To all of my friends, once this is all over you’re getting one long hug from me whether you like it or not.

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meganrosee0

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